1:29 AM, In The Space Between What's Wrong And Right
Thursday, August 5, 2010
What had started, for me, as a fun flirtation to pass the time when in school, had now unconsciously became a full blown affair of the heart.
My attraction to you is very real - my flirting game had ended long ago.
This will destroy me very soon and I don't want that to happen.
But I can't deny that I want you so bad.
When I see you, I gasp and hyperventilate.
My attraction to you is very real - my flirting game had ended long ago.
This will destroy me very soon and I don't want that to happen.
But I can't deny that I want you so bad.
When I see you, I gasp and hyperventilate.
I stop and keep my eyes peeled on your every move,
until you disappear round the corner.
I have to close my eyes to compose myself, remind myself to breathe again.
It's either that you're too easy to read, or I'm too observant for my own good.
I love days when you're standing there, and I'm studying you, analysing your mannerisms.
After all these weeks, I can see that under your icy-seeming exterior,
I have to close my eyes to compose myself, remind myself to breathe again.
It's either that you're too easy to read, or I'm too observant for my own good.
I love days when you're standing there, and I'm studying you, analysing your mannerisms.
After all these weeks, I can see that under your icy-seeming exterior,
there is a flesh and blood woman.
Frustrated and vexed on the inside, calm and composed on the outside.
I can see that behind the walls that you've built before your eyes, there are thousands of straying thoughts and a million questions- questions that you're just afraid to ask.
When you catch me staring, I have to suppress a burst of laughter at the utterly flummoxed look on your face- the confusion, evident in your eyes, when we exchange a look.
When I seem to say the wrong thing, and you seem to have difficulties finding the right words to say, I watch with delighted interest as you try not to choke on your own tongue.
That day, I know you felt the conflict in my body, saw the confusion in my eyes, heard me cry out in my head, when accidentally, you brushed your hand against mine.
Likewise, I could feel the jolt of your hand, the withdrawal and strangled look on your face, as electricity seemed to surge through my veins, and flow into yours.
The frantic flutter of my pulse and the irresistible surge of life in your body during those brief moments were apparent too.
And then I was forced to remove my hand against yours, against you- my one desire.
I can almost read the questions in your eyes, as something seem to register in your head behind every look that we exchange.
When you're around, I always feel like I can't speak.
That day, as you jerked away, all I did was to give you one last lingering stare, as if I could by will alone, make it clear how I feel towards you.
If you want me to be very honest, if you want to sit me down and talk to me about this, I'm not sure I can find the right words to say.
For the first time since a long time ago, I can't explain myself.
I don't expect anyone to understand either.
Perhaps I'm reading too much into you and your idiosyncrasies.
If you want me to be very honest, if you want to sit me down and talk to me about this, I'm not sure I can find the right words to say.
For the first time since a long time ago, I can't explain myself.
I don't expect anyone to understand either.
Perhaps I'm reading too much into you and your idiosyncrasies.
Perhaps I am, but another passing stranger to you.
The way I feel so intrigued and curious by your presence frightens me sometimes.
The way I relish in your quirky and eccentric mannerisms.
The way I throw my head back and laugh when friends tease me about you, because I want to convince myself that this is all but a passing crush.
And the way I find myself smiling at you looking lost and awkward, sometimes a little shy and nervous..
And the way I find myself smiling at you looking lost and awkward, sometimes a little shy and nervous..
Gosh, I'm frightened, you know.
