10:34 PM, -
Monday, May 24, 2010
Shit after shit after shit after shit after shit.
And what is this supposed to be? My life?
Sometimes when I’m sitting down quietly,
I look down at my hands and I see that I’m shaking.
I'm shaking so terribly.
And I don't understand.
Why out of all the times that shits can happen, they choose to happen now?
Why not say, maybe last year or a few years back when I was carefree and easy and enjoying life and just... happy?
Why now? And why, do they come all at once?
Why one after another? Why continuously?
What have I done, seriously to deserve all these shits?
It's like being bombed, and living to survive another day, just to get bombed all over again the next day.
Surely I've been tested enough right? Haven't I gone through enough already, God?
Honestly, pleeeeeeeeeeease.
Please, I don't know who or what I'm begging at and why I'm typing through tears now but please,
enough already.
I'm not sure I can handle anymore shits.
I'm not sure I have enough strength for this.
And i'm not sure where I've placed the faith I used to have in myself.
the only thing that's stopping me from wanting to die right now,
is the future.
its only a matter of time.
i really thought from the bottom of my heart that i'd miss everyone
once i decide to start my life all over again.
but turns out right now, i can't wait to leave & walk away.
i'd miss only one person.
but that wouldn't matter because i'm going to take her with me.
