5:24 PM, Touch Me. With Your Lips.
Friday, May 15, 2009
A year ago i wouldn't be here.
The place i am at now was the place i had learnt to fear the most.
The trouble is: I just don't listen.
I saw them, and i heard it all.
The warnings, advices, i'd even call them admonitions- they came daily.
But i turned a blind eye, a deaf ear to them cos what i wanted, was just lying within reach.
And then when i reached out and took her in, its like all they ever talked about in poems, rang out pure & true.
So long ago, there were times that i sit & ponder and i think & wonder.
Thinking about the craziness of it all, asking "how did i get here", but smiling at the end.
I'd spend hours thinking of yesterday, trying to interpret the meanings of what little things she said.
And when i see her again, i forget all that i wanted to say.
I don't remember where the music came from, or whatever the tune was.
All i remembered was her and her eyes.
I hated how people looked at me in disbelief, & how they tried to change me.
Why?
You don't have to shake my hand, & i'm not asking you to stare.
And it hurt how H said i was just ruined, and how she volunteered to fix me up again.
I looked at her & she looked right back, her eyes saying she's doing me a favour.
What favour? Yes honey, you were such a fucker.
While others learnt to understand who i am, why couldn't you, the one whom i thought understood me, do the same?
Those days were the worst not because i lost a friend.
It wasn't my loss.
If anything, its you who lost me.
Sometimes i don't see her for days, & everything just feels awful.
Sometimes i fight with her for days, & everything just frustrates me.
Sometimes when i hang up on her, i don't admit that its me & she won't say that its her.
And sometimes, sometimes i just miss her. :(
Like now.
