8:52 PM, I'M NOT READY TO DIE NOW
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Oh okay, so again, i feel sort of effed. Or f**ked if you want.
I am sick (again).
This is such terrifying shit cos if u dont know, i was sick just a week ago.
And now, im back to having bongo drums drumming in my head.
I dont know, maybe its just me, but even now in this pain i'm in, i feel like i wanna go hang out (yeah, and like Julia said, puke all over the pavement).
I don't wanna die yet. I know how random this is. But i think i've done too many people wrong to die now. I dont know, i'm so weird. Saying that i, myself is weird - thats how weird i am? Maybe i'm not weird.
I'm just special. hahaa, that phrase she told me. Whatever.
Anyway, i think i've done too many people wrong.
The good thing is that, they let my mistakes slip by, unnoticed.
The bad thing is that, i'm full of guilt.
And everyone's gotta admit this.
Its kind of hard to say sorry sometimes.
Like face to face, even voice to voice over the phone.
Is this the way i always am? I dont know.
But i know i've hurt alot of people. I'm sorry, really. And while others enjoy that, i dont see the thrill. But then again, its not like i want to hurt people. Its not like i enjoy it. Sometimes, its my fault but other times, its not. Or is it? I dont know.
Maybe i'm too sick that i dont know what i'm saying.
Maybe so. Maybe i know, i'm just pretending i dont know.
We lie to ourselves, we do that all the time.
I need my med now. That icky BIG med pill.
I'm gon cry when i swallow. I'm gonna cry again.
even the wrong word seem to rhyme
