if i knew, i swear i wouldnt have

Last night sucked. It was really late, and i cant sleep. So i had a talk with J. on the phone. And :

Everything came out, and i am so damn sorry i lied to you. Its not a matter of trust, its just difficult to tell someone the truth sometimes.

I AM SORRY, J.

I'm sorry i disappointed you all along, i'm so sorry if i had hurt you somewhere in between the cracks, i'm sorry i crushed all your expectations, i'm sorry i wasn't a good friend, i'm sorry u think i dont trust you enough, i'm so sorry i had to lie.

And i know how different things are now ; how it'll never be the same again. Hell,i cant even look you in the eye now, so how is that the same? But you're still my rock, my buddy, my pal.

Oi, cookie monster, i still love you, if thats alright.

ILYSFM. :'(

all it took was one stupid hug, one phone call ; and it all has changed