5:08 PM,
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
IRRITATED
Today was exhausting for me. I went up and down the stairs pretty much like three or four times. It wasnt fun. Because i realise that i've not been running regularly and all that rushing up and down the stairs was killing my knees. Sucky. I wonder how im gonna run when the 2.4km test run resume.
Anyway, i was exhausted not because i ran the well being run in the morning. Which means that i didnt run it. I was tired because i was doing my job as a class chairman (CHEH!). hahaha, yes, being chairman is not all easy. You dont get to shake your leg all the time. Which means that you do get to shake your leg sometimes. Anyway, i was asked to pass the Lit exam papers to the rest, and i did. And i was asked to collect it all back and pass it to the teacher before 1.10pm at one of the sec five classes. I was sick, you see, and i didnt have the mood to go up(although it was only a level up). But i didnt want to trouble my VC, Mr Charlotte(c0s i always bully him, hah), and so i ran the errand. For once, i did. I stepped out and got a gush of cold wind in my face. I was like, "Woweee!Cool ah!".
But after a few seconds walking, i just thought, "Hell, i wanna get outta this cold corridor." haha.
So i went up, and by the time i was at the 4th level, i realise that life is cruel, and time is so unconditional.
It was 10.50am.
The sec fives are having their recess. Wow. Hah, i was fifing mad. Like, damn mad.
So i travelled all the way down, through the blistering cold, and back into class. Pissed, ever so pissed.
I went again, at around 12 something. It was still raining, only that it was much much much more colder. I could really die on the spot. I trudged all the way up like a lost idiot, and when i reached, i saw that.....
The Doors Were SHUT.
And i just thought like, "Where the hell did you guys go, for heaven's sake?!"
I stood staring at the door for a minute, trying to control my anger. Then i went all the way down, through the cold wind, and back to class. I was just so pissed.
I didnt feel like going again after that. Really, if i was depending solely on my heart, i would have thrashed all 40 papers into the bin. But, no, i realise that it would be wrong, so i didnt do that. Instead, calmly at 1.20pm, 10 minutes late, i went up. Yet again.
2 metres from the class, i told myself that if it was empty, or locked, i would just throw the papers down the 4 storey high building, and down onto the puddle. No, it wasnt anger management issues. I wasnt angry ; just pissed. I was saved from doing that though, cos the class wasnt vacant. Finally, i just thought.
The most adventurous day of my life in school yet. I guess thats what it is.
How pathetic am i? Dont answer.
Anyway, yeah, i got back all my exam papers except for my malay paper.
Simple Said : NOT HAPPY.
No 'A's at all. Only 'B's and 'C's. If you think thats good enough, then i think im just different.
Its not good enough. No i dont think it is. When i saw those figures and grades, i get reminded of who i was last year in January. Who i came to CSS as. What label they pasted on me ; hung around my neck.
And looking at that label and the results in my hand now, i realise that i dont deserve that label.
Im no longer topdog. And it took me 1 and a half year to realise that. How irritating can things get, really?
But i left her when i found her, and now i wish i'd stayed
Cause i'm lonely and i'm tired
I'm missing you again.
Oh No.
